~Sweet Dreams and Silent Cries~

update

2007-08-23T20:52:07Z

well...kyle and i broke up about 2 months ago.
i started college last week.
ive failed my driving test, twice.
im all healed and healthier since my surgery.
yeah...lifes...."going", i guess.
i really hope school comes in handy later in life!

whats new

2007-05-12T15:08:09Z

well....
kyle and i are great
im getting surgery on june 18th
and....
prom is next week...woot woot

graduation june 1st...yay

band band band, dont you love it

2006-08-26T15:48:10Z

GAME LAST NIGHT:
it went well...
i think...
im wsick of everyone freaking complaining though!
why cant you all suck it up and try to have a good time instead of trying to bring EVERYONE down with you?
damn...
its people like you that make our band bad...not the band director
if you would just try to smile and say "lets do this, lets have fun and kick butt" instead of complaining of how much me "suck"(which we dont suck that bad) and how "sucky" the director is (which he isnt THAT bad) and just have a good time and ENCOURAGE your band...then maybe ....just maybe people would have a better time doing what we all love to do!
please be more possitive...
is everyone was like "hey, how are you, lets have a great time and get this" we would prolly have more than three song on the field and we would all have something BIG to smile about...but no!
thanks to people that i wont name, its not fun anymore!
*tear*
well you know what...
percussion is going to have fun...
you know why?
bc we can look past things and see the good...
and the good is that we love band and we are going to have a GREAT year weather we have a new band director or not...be we are more into music then you are.
if you had more respect for music, you wouldnt have the odasity to bitch and moan...
you would be laughing and READY TO WORK!
so to you all that "hate this" ...SUCK IT UP!

CHELZ:
your doin great...
thanks for having hope.
and GO ON GIRLY...
you rock!

KJ:
i miss him
*smile*
i get to see him this weekend ....YAY

KYLE:
6 more days till our anniversary!
woot woot

ok...have a GREAT weekend everyone
we had a good game
we won and...didnt sound to bad either.
im proud!
(but yet again, im an optimist, unlike most!)

*kisskiss*
~Emmy

gotta go gotta go gotta go gotta go

2006-07-28T11:21:25Z

i have almost no time to write...

i have to leave for the airport in like 5 min...

IM GOING TO FLORIDA FOR A COUPLE DAYS!!!

well...

last night was A BAD NIGHT

anything you could possibley think of, went wrong....*grr*

it was horrible...

anyhoo...

ok, im leaving now...

ill miss you, see you tuesday!

*muah*

~Emmy

quicky

2006-07-18T20:51:42Z

i dont really have time to write...but ill give a quick update on my "life"

YESTERDAY:
hung out with perz and kyle
then
kyle, kj, lanz, megz, gabz, pete, perz, and i went to monerreys
FUNFUN
then we went to my apartment and hung out in a circle on my tennis court in the dark playing the "question game" *teehee*
it was fun...

TODAY:
pete and i wrote out a cadence together
"snickers"
its a cadence from my school in FL
THATS RIGHT BIOTCHEZ, WE ARE PLAYING MY CADENCES THIS YEAR!
woot woot

ok...kisskiss
end

busy busy crazy crazy drama drama woo

2006-07-14T16:56:28Z

Well...here i go again

YESTERDAY:
woke up
got a shower
went to kyles
hung out with him
he taught my how to play vs. (card game)
-it was kind of lame
but fun none the less

lanz picked us up
we went to borderlands
(kyle had some card compitition thing)
-pretty lame again, but cute!
we were bored
we walked around a little bit and saw a comic book that said "sad sack"...it was REALLY funny
then lanz picked some "game peice" up that looked likea cotton ball and i was like "eww" and
she went to wipe her finger on my arm and accidently wiped my boob
IT WAS SO FUNNY
then she was like "omg, i didnt mean to do that emmy" and went to hug me and hit me in the head with her phone,
IT WAS HILARIOUS
-guess you had to be there
and there was this freaky 26 year old bold guy starring at lanz(icky)

then kj came to borderlands
lanz and kj played chess while kyle finished his last game
kyle got 5th place(bc he was late and missed a round)

then us three went to waffle house
kj ate toast and hash browns
lanz ate...something with egg and spuds
kyle got some meal thing
and i ate cheese burgers and spuds!

kj and kyle then started to cover crackers in tobasco sauce and eat them,
it was SO funny
their eyes got all watery...
it was SO ADORABLE!

aww, kj and kyle are so cute,
i love them!

after waffle house
lanz took kyle home
and kj took me home
on the way i talked to kj
later that night some crap went down with my own probs and i vented to kj for like 30 on the phone

KJ:
he is so sweet
i dont think he knows how many heart he touched non-intentionally
hes always there when you need him
hes always there to listen
to tell you to put your chin up
he means well almost always and tries to make the best of things
he doesnt know how much i care about him
i value his friendship very much!

LANZ:
she really cares about me, and im not used to that
shes for real, and im not used to that
but she is SO MUCH FUN
and her and i could talk FOREVER
people dont give her enough credit
she really is a great person
i love you lanz
you rock

PETE:
he called me today to talk about the meeting tonight
him and i are trying to pla a precussion camp prier to band camp
we will go over cadences and warm ups and basics
im excited!

ok, thats about it

MEETING:
im not allowed to go till i clean the house
i have to do the dishes(there are a lot of them)
i have to vaccum
and do laundry
wish me luck
...see you guys tonight

end

Dont read if you dont care

2006-07-12T17:57:01Z

YESTERDAY:
Well, i did nothing all day
lanz came over
we ate beef stew
and, thats it!
kyle called, i talked to him...
he went to sleep,
i stayed up and talked to other people

STEVEN:
i talked to steven for EVER last night
i talked to him till like 5:59am!
WOWZERZ...teehee
he made me feel better and told me i was pretty, yay!

ANYHOO:
im going to kyles when he gets off work

FAKE ASS PEOPLE:
you know what i hate?
FAKE PEOPLE
i hate it when people are like "yay emmy, i love you, we have to hang out more"
then dont ever come around
if you dont want to be my friend because of A STUPID ASS REASON then DONT
i hate it when people arent OUT with the truth and just say how they feel

YOU KNOW WHO YOU ARE:
you want to be my friend?
you "like" me?
you think we should hang but conviently have no time?
SHOW IT~!
im sick of you pretending like you are my friends
you dont even talk to me not alone like me
you arent even around...

its like you dislike me because i am me and not who people want me to be
unlike you, im not shallow
i forgive people
i know when people deserve another chance!

i hate this shit
i hate being on two sides
i want to be your friends but i feel like you dont even care
you dont even like me
let alone want me around

why cant everyone drop the bullshit and shake hands already...
oh wait, people it would be FAKE!

i thought you were my friends
i thought you cared about me
i thought you liked having me around
but i was wrong

you guys dont give a rats ass about me
you are too rapped up in your own drama to even think about me as my own person
you arent my friends after all
and that REALLY hurts me!

it really does effect me
because at one time i thought you were the best
i loved you more than anyone
no one was ever so sweet to me
and this really sucks
im not mad, im hurt!
and i will not let people hurt me that arent worth my worry~!

wowzerz,
not im all *grr*

im gonna go chill...ALONE!
end

~Emily Rae

Vent

2006-07-11T17:48:24Z

SLEEP:
after lanz dropped me off i went back to sleep and slept thill 5
then kyle picked me up and i spent the day with him

KYLE:
he is really great
he and i had a really GREAT day yesterday.
it was fun, and we kissed A LOT (more than norm)
but it was different yesterday for some reason
i just felt like him and i were closer!
its like everytime we looked at each other we just wanted to smile(and did)
...any hoo
i wanted to see him this morning before he went to his friends house but he said he just wants to go over there...
*grr*
i would have liked to see him today(even if for just an hour)
these are the things im talking about
why does it always have to be convient to him?
he grat and i love him but sometimes he just drives me bonkers
(like this)
whats an hour to spare?
something that he cant do for me?
whatever...
i wont waste my time worrying ona boy!

LANZ:
i made her a myspace, but i cant get a hold of her to tell her yet!
*frown*
golly-i hope she likes it

TODAY:
i have NOTHING to do!
what can i do today?
well...
i could call Britz

BRITZ:
i havent talked to her all summer(except once)
SHE DOESNT CALL
or answer my calls
the one time i talked to her she said shed call me back so we could do something
but she didnt
damn it
its like...am i her friend or not?
*pout*
i hate it when people change on you
she was so great
i thought i could see her as like my best friend and then she does this!
*grr*

MY PHONE:
i love it!!!

ok...

BAND MEETING 14TH:
i need to call Pete and see what we are going to do
JAMES QUIT
i idea is that i can play quint and through momo on a bass...
then i think we will be okay
i have to talk to Pete about that and talk to Momo as well
golly-i love percussion but i hate the worry
hahaha
(its worth it in the end)

ok...
*kisskiss*
end

Lanz

2006-07-11T06:10:20Z

ALEXS BDAY:
alex simon and i ate at simons house
i cleaned the house for alex
i wrote alex a letter saying i love her (and stuff)
simon got alex a purse that she hated
*giggle*
alex picked kyle up
we went back to simons and played phase10
end

YESTERDAY:
Went to Gaffney and shopped(for nothing)
ate outhouse
went to Lianas
went to TCBY
met kyle and kj at 10ish
went to waffle house
played chess
dropped kyle off
slept at lanz's
TOOK PICTURES(of lanz)
-golly, shes pretty

TODAY:
lanz took kyle to work
she dropped me off
i slept till 5 (when kyle got off work)
went to kyles
HE IS SO HOT!
if i could only right some of the thing he said or did...WOW
he has really grown up!

PICS:

kissey

beauty

grr

wander

siluet

question

sad

smile

side

crazy hot

want

cute

full wood

grill

b&w

natural blond

and what

so pretty

dream

sexy

tiger

aww

depressing

oh sorry

cheeky

boob shot

back shot

giggle

normal

LIKE MY WORK?
-want me to take pics of you?
-want me to capture your beauty?
-contact me!
-Id love to!

("thanks for making me pretty emmy"..."i didnt make you pretty, you are pretty i just captured your beauty in a picture")

a_pumkins_moo @ 2006-07-08T14:49:00

2006-07-08T18:52:03Z

THE FORTH:
well...kyle mary alex and i went to main street and watched fireworks
we met peter and liana there
kj met us there
kj lanz kyle and i hung out after words
it was funfunfun

MY BUG BITE:
its getting better
i went to the doctor
it swelled up to 7 inches
im on drugs now to make it go away
i hope i get better doon
DAMN CRAZY ASS SOUTH CAROLINA BUGS...THERE ALWAYS OUT TO GET ME

ALEX:
her bday is today
if you know her...
call her and tell her...
*smile*
shes 26

CHRISTIAN:
his bday was on the 6th...
i would have given anything to hug him, tell him i love him, and say happy bday
golly...i miss him

KYLE:
he is SO sweet
i said i wanted taco bell, he bought it for me
i wanted to see a movie, he took me to see it
i said i hurt, he said what can i do to make it stop
i love him!

FLORIDA:
i cant wait to go
i miss my friends
i miss band
IM COMIN SUNSHINE!
21 more days!!!

KJ:
he is so amazing
hes funny
nice
smart
sweet
a GREAT friend
i dont know what i would do without him

LANZ:
she is SO incredible
shes thoughtfull
she always means well
shes fun
pretty
nice
i hate it when people talk crap about her bc she doesnt deserve it
she really is a great person
what is there to dislike...
that shes HERSELF and not fake?
whatever...

MEGZ:
I MISS HER
...MEGZ COME BACK FROM INDIA...WE MISS YOU!!!
*frown*

LAST NIGHT:
i was at kyles
lanz picked me up
took me to my house
i changed
kj came
kj lanz kyle and i went to taco bell
then played chess at taco bell for like 2 hours
then the FANTASTIC 4... (with out megz, *pout*) saw pirates 2...
its was good
then i changed in the back of kjs car...haha
(dont ask)
then i went home
*giggle*
its was SO MUCH FUN
i love them!

BEST BUDS:
KYLE (duh)
CHRSITIAN (duh)
lanz
kj

WELL...
thats is
*kisskiss*
hope your summer is going well

SWEET DREAMS AND SILENT CRIES
THE ONLY PRIZE IS OF THE WISE
!Emmy!

OWWIE...EMMY HURT

2006-07-06T19:06:07Z

OWWIE:
i got bit by something but i dont know what
i think what ever it is i was allergic to it...
yesterday it was just red
then last night it started to burn
this morning my entire leg hurt and it tripled in size
alex is going to take me to urgent care
my entire leg from my hip to my knee hurts
the area is 13cm across!
last night it was 7cm,
this morning it was 10cm
and now its 13cm!
i hope ill be okay...
im prolly just gonna get a shot in the butt with meds...
but whatever

THE FORTH

2006-07-04T17:38:19Z

FOURTH OF JULY:
Happy Forth!
im going to Marys with Alex and Simon...

dinner dinner dinner

2006-07-02T22:06:17Z

YESTERDAY:
uploaded pics
talked online
made dinner(beef and broccoli with rice)
kyle came over
kyle alex and i ate dinner
alex kyle and i went to walmart
alex kyle and i watched a movie
alex went on computer
kyle and i watched shark thing on discovery then south park
alex took kyle home
i talked to christian on the phone
went to sleep

TODAY:
woke up
talked to alex
ate
talked to uncle davie
hung out
looked at houses with alex
did nothing
kyle called
did laundry
AM GOING TO SIMONS FOR DINNER with alex and kyle
thats it!

FLORIDA:
Im going on the 28th and coming back on the 31st.
grandmas 80th bday is on the 29th.
IM GOING TO THE LAST DAY OF MCAS BAND CAMP ON THE 28TH!!!
*woot woot*
im happy
im going to hang out with christian a lot
i might even plan an old band party or something
possibly see josh too!

KYLE:
he is awesome
he is cute
he is sweet
im happy with him

CHRISTIAN:
i miss him
he is my BEST FRIEND
and he ALWAYS WILL BE
im going to see him a lot in FL hopfully!
maybe even jam out with him a little bit!
GOLLY...
i hate being so far away from him.

JOBS:
i applied at like 5 different places...
im waiting for a call
HURRY, i need a car!

MOM:
i miss her
i even broke down and cried to kyle about it on our date...

The End!

OH...AND EASTSIDE BAND PEOPLE...
I WISH TO INFORM YOU THAT IM SICK OF THE DRAMA!

We are going to have a GOOD year.
IF PETE AND I CAN BE FRIENDS AND HANG OUT TOGETHER, THEN YOU GUYS CAN GET ALONG!

* Go Eagles *

Water Fall Date with Kyle

2006-07-01T17:54:41Z

KYLE PICKED ME UP

HE BLIND FOLDED ME

HE TOOK ME "SOMEWHERE" (DOWNTOWN)

WE TOOK THE BLIND FOLD OFF...

A PICNIC BY A WATERFALL

WAIT, THERES MORE

HE MADE ME THE PERFECT MEAL BY HIM SELF
-CHICKEN CEASER
-MY FAV. SANDWITCH
-DEW
-DORITOS
-HOME MADE SUGAR COOKIES

HE WROTE ME A POEM

HE READ ME THE POEM

WE TOOK PICS

WAIT, THERES MORE!

WE WENT TO THE MOVIES

WE SAW WHAT EVER I WANTED TO SEE(THE DIVIL WEARS PRADA)

WAIT, THERES MORE

WE WENT TO WAFFLE HOUSE AND GOT HASHBROWNS

HE TOOK ME HOME

HE SAID, "I LOVE YOU EMILY"

THE END...

PICS:

PICS

2006-06-13T07:10:43Z

I PROMISED PICS!!!

June 8th (ONE YEAR i have been in SC)

2006-06-09T21:02:24Z

Kj, Lanz, Megz, Tyler, Casey, Kyle, and i went downtown after Coronas...It was funfunfun!!!

~i have lots of pics...ill post them later~

Update

2006-05-22T23:45:21Z

WEEKENS THAT JUST PASSED:
went to the devinci code and offle waffle with kyle...
went to relay for life...
went to after after prom party, dont remember much from that...
sat=went shopping, ...
sun=greek fest
then shopping
then ate at fridays
then got new mario for ds
then kyle came over

GETTING SICK
i think im getting a cold...*frown*
my throat hurts and my nose is runny!

"KATIE"???
it read..."your welcome for letting you sleep in my bed"
i wanna know what the ****it meant!

YUPYUP
thats all...
im tired, and im gonna go play mario after i put another load in!

nothing

2006-05-04T03:00:15Z

It doesnt stop there...

"All i give is empty promises"

and

"Im a lier"

regret

2006-05-04T02:53:08Z

Why do you let me stay if you dont want me here in the first place...
Why do you "act" nice but really you cant stand me...
Why cant you just throw me away instead of messing with me head!
No phone now?
"Your lazy"
"You cant be trusted"
"You Made me a fool"
Man, you are dad...the only difference is that you actually feed me and take me to the doctor...
Why wait it out...
Just throw me away already!
God...i hate this...
Why is that no matter whos life im in, they hate me in the end...
Why is that i fail non-stop?
I AM WORTHLESS...
I AM NOTHING...
MY LIFE IS MEANINGLESS!!!
I have no home, no family, no talent, nothing!
My mothers dad, my father dis-owned me...and day by day i dissappoint my sister MORE AND MORE!
I HATE IT HERE...
I HATE IT THERE...
I thought it was going to ROCK living here..but oh, was i wrong!
It sucks...
Yeah, shes cool sometimes...
But other wise...
I CAN NEVER DO ANYTHING RIGHT!!!
I fucking hate this "your a lazy ****" stuff over and over...
I KNOW IM NOTHING...
Why am i reminded of that EVERYDAY that i live here?
I have no job...
I dont make my own money...
Im not passing all my classes...
Music is "not worth it"
Mom is gone...
Its like i can never make ANYONE proud of me ...
EVER!
There is NO point of me getting up in the morning...
There is NO point of me going to school...
Its not like im EVER going to amount to anything.
I dont know why i still open my eyes...
I dont know why i claim this housing as my own...
Im not wanted here,
Im not good enough,
THATS OVIOUS!

Ill get a job, and save my money so i can get out of everyones hair...

Im sorry im failing you mom!

I went to the zoo today

2006-04-15T22:30:08Z

ramble

2006-04-12T09:20:04Z

Well...i just saw Christian!!!

Hes in town for a little while...and i have a secret!!!
(but i cant tell, or it wouldnt be a secret silly...lol)

Yeah, so Chrisitan, Kyle and I hung out the whole night...

Mind you this is after my "appointment" and by the way...im ok!!!
(I kind of wish that it was just Chrsitian and I but what ever)

I FEEL BETTER:
nothing BIG is wrong with me
my fear is gone now
i can sleep at night
it took them over an hour just to put me to sleep!

THE ASSHOLE:
i thought about calling him the other day
but i didnt
is it horrible that i have gone almost a year with out talk to my own father!
i hate him!
but...why do i want to talk to him then?
i make no sence...

MOM:
i miss my mother
i wish she were here
as i layed in the hospital bed and alex wiped away my tears...
i realized...alex is my mother now!
i just miss my real mother!
i really need her!

JOSH:
i havent talk to him in a few days
we talking on saturday i think
he doesnt really care
he is so concided...
he thinks its all about him
i just dont get why he doesnt get it...
I DONT WANT HIM!!!
I DONT NEED HIM!!!
my life is fine without him...
but i love him,
i always will...
i thought he loved me too...
and if he didnt love me, then why does he still say it!
why does he worry about me?
golly..he makes no sence!

KYLE:
i still havent had sex with him, and im OK with it!
honest, i dont think i want to...with him
hes not ready
and i dont think im ok with taking his virginity when hes not ready!
whatever...
there are more important things than sex...
like HIM!
*smile*

MYSPACE:
i have a myspace
christian and i have a myspace
kyle and i have a myspace
brit and i have a myspace
you should go cheak it out!
all three are on my top 8!!!
*yay*

ok...

love peace and chicken grease

sweet dreams and silent cries
the only prize is of the wise

-Emmy-

my cats

2006-04-02T20:20:18Z

i love my cats

I miss the beach! I miss Florida!

2006-04-02T20:14:39Z

whats to say

2006-03-07T06:26:43Z

KYLE:
him and i could laugh forever
its like, everyday that goes by, we become closer and closer.
hes great, and when he does mess up, he makes up for it
kyle and i have been together for like 6 months this month...crazy or what

ALEX:
(for those of you that dont know...thats my sister)
shes been making me mad lately,
...i dont know what it is...
but...no matter what she does to make me mad, i always love her in the end of the day
she could call me a lazy whore, and id be mad, and then feel guilty for being mad...
so i become...not mad, does that make sence...
oh well

SCHOOL:
things are great
im getting my grades up!
jazz band is going better than a couple weeks ago

JOSHUA:
he will "always have a place in his heart for me"
and i will "always have a place in my heart for him"
but...some how or another, he has a power over me
its like...josh is my ultimate weakness...
i still love him, and its hard to admitt...!
but...
its not practical
i dont wan to be with him rigt now
maybe after college or soemthing, but not now
...besides, we agreed to date other people and be friends
(its just harder than it sounds to except that he likes someone else)

STUFF:
we are getting our furniture this week
on wednesday!!! *woot woot*
finally...it took like 9 months

ok...enough updating, ill write again soon...lol
*kisskiss*
-emmy-

Its been a while!

2006-02-12T22:09:11Z

JOSHUA:
we broke up a couple months ago
at first i was really upset and i didnt take it well...
but now, im ok with it!
he isnt the person i fell in love with
he has changed and im not in love with who hes now
he has started smoking cigz...icky!
hes even interested in another girl now!
well..yeah, thats about it with that!

KYLE:
he is wonderfull!
of corse we have our bumby times, but EVERY relationship does...
him and i are still learning about one another
but for the majority of the time, we are always smiling!
hes funny, and kind, and i really like him.
him and i are deff. doing great!
and i am truely gratfull for it...

ALEX:
the sis and i are great
she does get mad at me sometimes but its ok...
we love each other

SICKY BEAR:
i had a cold...
i still have it...
but its going away
anyone that KNOWS me, knows that when i get sick...its BAD!
*giggle*

BAKING:
i made kyle a cake and 2 dozen cup cakes!!!
(i didnt have any money for heart day!)

SCHOOL:
its getting better
im really starting to buckle down and get all of my grades up!
i ever disected a pig! (it was horribly awsome)

BAND:
its not going so well
i didnt make region (i cant sight read)
i didnt make county (i cant sight read)
indoor percussion sucks!
i am the only person that knows my part...
but mr.whiddon is cool...i like him!

FINAL FANTACY:
i havent been playing as much as i used to
but im getting back into it
im gonna get my nin soon!!! *woot woot*

NINTENDO DS:
i love it!
ive been every game i have!!!
*yay*

BRITZ:
she is amazing...
i love her
i love her family
shes like the best gf ive ever had

CHRISTIAN:
hes moving up her soon i hope!!!

HOME SICK:
i really miss florida
i miss spending the night at the beach
i miss going out with my friends WITHOUT GETTING LOST BC I DONT KNOW WHERE I AM
i miss knowing everyone and where they live
i miss partying
i miss going to clubs
i miss drumline
i miss mr.curry
i even miss all the f***ing people that cant speak any english!!!

SOUTH CAROLINA:
im getting used to it
im liking kyle more and more everyday
i gain a new friend every other week
im meeting new people and loving life!
just gotta start getting ready for college and stuff...
(*woot woot* menopoly theme next year)

NIGHT HANG OUT:
courtz, ash, and chelz came by and we played chicken foot
it was so much fun
CHEESE, PICKLES, AND PEPERMINT STICKS!
*yummy*
KJ and edd stopped by for a little bit, but they didnt stay long...
it was still a lot of fun...
i hope we hang out again some time soon...
*kisskiss*

a couple hours after they left i was drunk...! *giggle*

ok...
thats all for now
im gonna starting writting again!

sweet dreams and silent cries,
the only prize is of the wize!
-emmy-